Dad of the Month: Josh Boccheciamp
Posted on June 21 2019
PHOTO CREDIT: MICHELLE ROSE
Josh Boccheciamp
Dad to: Asher (age 2)
Other half to: Liz Teich (The New York Stylist)
Day Job: teacher Side Gig: Photographer for The New York Stylist
How have YOU changed since you had kids?
The way I value and prioritize time has changed. So much of my time is dominated by responsibilities now that it makes me appreciate MY time even more (ie date nights, playing basketball, working out). Fatherhood has forced me to become more efficient with my time, especially with work, so I can get the most out of spending time with my family. I really wish I could have back any complaint about "being too busy" before being a parent!
What has surprised you, what did you not expect?
I didn’t expect liking being a father this much. Even when he’s crying, when I have to get up in the middle of the night, when I have to walk him in the stroller, I enjoy my time with him and the process so it doesn’t bother me like I thought it may.
PHOTO CREDIT: MICHELLE ROSE
It surprised me how little I knew about being a parent before being a parent.
I didn’t understand just why or how exhausting it is. I get it now. I didn’t think this little creature could take over everything, so much space and make such a mess! I laughed at Liz when she was getting the baby room ready while pregnant and cleared my stuff out of a closet and said, “how much space does this baby need??” Now I know!
How has your marriage change since you had kids?
I know it sounds a little cheesy, but I love my wife more than ever now. She's an amazing mother, and I'm proud of everything she's doing. That said, It’s more of an effort to make time to spend time together. After work, household responsibilities and spending time with our son, it’s hard to make that time. Aligning our schedules and staying awake for each other is a challenge.
What has surprised you, what did you not expect?
We’ve had to work hard to combine things we all like doing so we can do it together so we feel like we are spending time with each other.
Also my wife now turned our life into a musical. She’s come up with songs for everything for our toddler to get him to cooperate without tantrums and it works. When we want to clean up, he demands to sing “bye bye toys” - I never thought I’d be singing everything we’re doing!
What advice would you give to a new father-to-be who is about to go down that road and isn't sure yet what to expect?
Don’t be selfish. It's not only bad for your marraige but also for your little one. You’re going to have to realize you’re not going to put yourself first anymore. If you’re tired, not feeling well, it doesn’t matter quite the same. Your family comes first. I feel like I learned this best when my infant got the stomach bug, then my wife and then I got it last so I was focused on taking care of them before me! That said, once you come to terms with putting your family first, it actually becomes much easier to carve out time for yourself, and I at least value this time much more!
What are your newborn long-night father survival tips?
Take naps when you can. Patience is really important. Understand that your baby is going to sleep one day. If you’ve been to the birth of a child you know that the woman basically had major surgery and really needs time to recover...but then moments later a mom has to feed a baby and keep it alive without that recovery. Birth is hard. Never forget that. Do your part.
Describe your ideal family Saturday:
Our son sleeps 30 minutes later than we expect. Then we him into our bed for cuddles. Make waffles and coffee for breakfast. Go play at a park all together. Our son takes a good, long nap. Then hang in our backyard the rest of the day until we eat dinner alfresco. Our son goes to bed without a fight and we can enjoy Netflix and a glass of wine together to round out the day.
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